To Defy = “to confront with assured power of resistance”, “to challenge to do something considered impossible”. No I’m not giving you a “word of the day” post. This is all about defying the norms.
When we are young we are taught to obey and respect. In school we just want to fit in and often we let that dictate to us how we behave, what we wear and who we want to be friends with. For many of us we forget to let ourselves grow out of that. As we become adults we still aim to fit in and it continues to shape who we are regardless of what we truly want out of life.
For instance, I have a 26-year-old daughter who does not want children. Because that is an odd decision for someone young to make she is constantly bombarded with statements about how she will change her mind, or told that she is to young to make that decision yet. But she understands the true commitment that it takes to have children, has evaluated herself and knows what she wants no matter what the norm dictates and she is not going to just do something because all the girls her age do it.
I do not follow the norm in lots of ways but the one I am most happy with is my ability to talk and joke about my missing arm and the Bi-Polar disorder that bothered me for many years (I’ll tell you more about that later, I can only write so much at a time 😛 ). So many people think it is normal to ignore it or not bring it up in conversation. Parents often tell their children not to ask about it. That shouldn’t be the case and for me it is not. My dad helped me with that. He would joke about it with me when I was younger, while friends and family were appalled at it, I loved it! It helped me be ok with me just the way I was. Another of my good friends did the same for me years later when Bi-Polar rocked my life and took a nasty toll on me. We live far apart now but she still impacts my life today. She had OCD, it was terrible how much it altered her life, but she was one of the most cheerful and fun loving women I have ever known. We used to sit watching the TV show MONK, laughing as we seen him do all sorts of things that she did. She taught me that no matter how the Bi-Polar impacted me I could still have fun with it and that disabilities do not have to dictate the course of your life.
So whoever you are, whatever that “social norm” is that stops you from being or doing what you really choose… I say go off and defy it!