As soon as I read the idea for the #PersonifyMe project from Mindfump.com I knew I wanted to be a part of it. First off I loved that it was in conjunction with Mental Health Awareness month! I’m also a huge fan of looking inward and becoming more self aware. I sat in front of my computer at my little work table and started thinking of what things in my life hold me back. In a few short minutes I was certain I had dug deep into my soul and found that single thing that was keeping me from reaching full potential. I called her my inner Queen of Judgement. Dressed in stunning deep royal purple sitting on her dark garnet red and gold throne embroidered with all the vile words her mind dreamed up as she insta-judged all she came in contact with. I was so excited!
I began to share the project and my submission idea with friends and family they dismissed this royal figure as not the biggest of my (shall we call them …issues?) Ok fine all of you just ruin my perfectly easy submission! Hmmm…. Ooo I got it! I’m a huge perfectionist, that’s the one! Yup now I got it (didn’t I?) No … no I didn’t. Later that day as I sat having coffee with a friend, sharing again what I thought was now my perfect submission, they looked at me and said “You’re not digging deep enough.” “Awww gimme a break, I dug deep I swear!” Now this person and I are friends because they do the one thing that many of my friends do not do, they call “BS” on me when it needs calling. He gave me a cockeyed look and said “that’s not your biggest stumbling block, and you know it”. I felt myself tense up as I asked what he believed it was. He just looked at me and said do you REALLY want me to continue? “Oh this is not going to be good” was the first thing that blew through my mind, followed by “If you aren’t going to be honest don’t bother to join this project, it will only diminish the value of those that are being brutally truthful about their struggles”. “Please continue” I told my buddy.
It wasn’t long before the tears welled up in my eyes and I knew he had hit the very core of my largest struggle – TRUST. And so began the two day journey of how to express in both picture and in words, my lack of trust. Interested in the final result? You can find it here on Mindfump’s blog #PersonifyMe